What an evening.

I just need to talk.

It has been said that at 3 in the morning it is the best time to gain knowledge. To be open to the universe. To think. It is time to meditate.

I am on vacation. Spending my birthday weekend away in San Luis Obispo. I have biked, hiked, been out, and just talked all day. I want what they have. Balance in a beautiful ecosystem. Unlike anywhere else. When I went to school here I did not notice the scenery. Today, it has a completely different impact on me.

I shall have it. At this time, I have to work to get here. Sacramento calls, with a vengeance. And I am ready for the task. I have so much to accomplish in very little time. The time here has brought focus and discipline in thought. This year better be prepared for me.

Compelled.

Exceptional feeling. pure focus on each object. defined with utter correctness.

Backwards thought.

When I was eighteen, I wanted so bad to be 25. Older, cooler, something more than what I was. At 27, I realize what funny thinking that was. I wonder how I would have acted 3 or 4 years ago with how I think now. Change is inevitable. You will always change. If you miss it, then you miss it. But it you catch it, change is a beautiful thing. Sometimes difficult. Sometimes Sad. But looking back, your accomplishments and for that matter, failures define who you are today. Something to appreciate. But always taken for granted.

I embrace change. I am glad for who I am today. I have been a wonderful person, a huge asshole, prick, jerk, and I am sure, there are ex's who can give you better description. Yes, I have participated in all angles of life, behaviors, and social failures. I wish I could be friends to those who I have been mean too. To show them, that there is something different here. Yet, the reality is those previous impressions are set in stone and I have to deal with that. Fine. Move forward. Progress. This adventure is going to be marvelous. I will not allow anyone to stop this train.

Man, I have been reading way to much Metaphysics........ being. thing. something. one good and true. Six transcendental notions.

On A Cold Winter's Evening...

This is one of those days in which I understand why having a vehicle would benefit. Tonight was such a very cold, cold ride home. I enjoyed every minute of my ride home, it gave me so much think about. Enduring very brisk weather on a bicycle allows you such pleasures.

So a couple of things.

1. Thank you Anthony Bourdain for reminding me of what a crackpot owner is.

- I work very hard at my job. I keep my mouth shut, make sure I am humble, and be the best possible employee that I can. I love being a chef and understanding the system of a restaurant and enjoying the bounty that lies within. And that is all I am going to say about that.

2. Understanding an individual and how they perceive their habitat is amazing.

- We have not changed much as a human race. We have grown in intellect but still have the same basic habits. When a person works an evening shift in a bar, their movements are silent, the pat on the back is understood, and the dance is proven with effective efficiency.

3. Comradery is number one.

- When I am off work, I am still working. I help clean, prepare, back up, or handle anything necessary. I have never put in the extra work before. It is worth it, give a little extra to the job and they give a little back. What an amazing and simple plan.. I feel like such a fool for not getting it sooner.. Ah, lessons learned...

Only..

I think the weed has started to affect my brain. It is time for a break.

I am looking forward to the new year. 2010 is going to be a great year for me. I am looking forward to the personal growth, the adventures, and the tough times.

I have started a rather ridged bike run. I think I am going to kick it up a notch and start working out. I have lost weight and built self confidence. Now that I know I can do it, it is time to get into shape for the summer!

Cheers!

One For The Masses

Music. It is something special. When you truly give into the rhythm and sit back and appreciate the glorious sound that is currently being induced.... It gives you an understanding that is different then the mass sound that you hear on the radio and adds on television. Just put in an album that you have always liked and relax and take in the sounds of each instrument and how they perfectly orchestrate each other.

For me, Modest Mouse: This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About. The absolute perfect orchestrated album. A perfect mix of a mild use of pedals along with an abundant bass line offering perfect alignment with the drums. Finally finished off with a rather brass voice forcing lyrics down your throat. The equivalent is a fantastic album.

Music once again offers something to the viewer in which is unavailable in television.

There and Back again.

I miss writing.

I used to be a die hard Live Journal kid.

But since those days have left and past, time to move forward into the abyss.